Book Review: Blackbirds by Chuck Wendig

Miriam Black has a “gift.” One touch, skin to skin, allows her to see how a person will die.  Specifically, she can see the exact date, time, and cause of death. Miriam was not born with this talent, it surfaced through a tragic incident in her life. We learn about her past through a series of interviews, which cut through the main story. 

Eight years ago, when Miriam became aware of her ability, she ran away and has lived on the road ever since. When she comes in contact with folks who will soon die, she waits out their death and steals from their corpses, just enough to get by until she finds the next source of income.   

Miriam is not a “good” person.

This novel begins with Miriam being “rescued” by Louis, a truck driver. After a short time in the truck together, she decides that she likes him and shakes his hand.  Miriam sees a flash of Louis’ gruesome murder, his death is weeks away, and it is his association with Miriam that causes his demise. She immediately parts ways with Louis, she may be a hard-ass, but she does not want to see this kind man to die due to her.  

Miriam is plagued by visions of Louis, the dead Louis, begging for her help.  She knows, from experience, that you cannot change fate. Her attempts to change the fate of others in the past, ended tragically.  Miriam runs from Louis, right into the bed of Ashley Gaynes, a con man, who has been tracking her for a several months. Ashley threatens to turn Miriam in to the police if she doesn’t agree to work with him. As Ashley points out, Miriam knows how to steal a wallet, but not how to open a safe.  He forces Miriam to contact Louis, to stay close enough to him so that they can take his money upon his demise.  Ashley’s cons have gone too far, placing Miriam, and Louis, in the sights of deadly enemies. 

When I began reading this book, I would have said that there was no way that I would have enjoyed it as much as I have. Miriam really is an awful person; yet, at some point in the first half of the book, I converted to Team Miriam. She is a reluctant hero, but a hero none-the-less. Miriam fights for Louis, with full expectations of failure.  She stands up – or flips off – Fate, in order to save a good man. 

I would recommend this book to … folks that enjoy Christopher Moore and do not quiver in fear at excessive violence. There were a few parts of this book that really made me uncomfortable, and to those who know me… that’s quite a feat.

Favorite quote:

“’Goddamn, you love to hear yourself talk, don’t you?’

‘I do.’ She does.”

Favorite Chapter Title (ever): “The Sun Can Go Fuck Itself”

 Find out more about Chuck Wendig at Terrible Minds.

Book Review: Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness

In A Discovery of Witches, we met historian/witch, Diana Bishop, and scientist/vampire, Matthew de Clermont. Diana turned her back on her magical roots, until she came across a mysterious alchemical manuscript, Ashmole 782, while performing research in the library. Diana knew at once that the manuscript was more than it seemed, otherworldly creatures - vampires, witches, and daemons - begin to swarm into her life to obtain this manuscript, which may hold the secret to their creation.

Diana attempts to recall Ashmole 782 to understand its secrets; however, it vanished from the library catalogue. Matthew was drawn to the mystery of Ashmole 782, yet enthralled by Diana. Diana and Matthew fall in love, which, of course, is strictly forbidden by the Congregation, a group of otherworldly creatures, which govern the magical community. When the non-human community became increasingly aggressive and hostile towards Matthew and Diana, they decided to time step into the past in order to have respite from the Congregation as well as to obtain proper training for Diana and to locate Ashmole 782 in its own time.

 When we rejoined Diana and Matthew, in Shadow of Night - the second book of the All Souls Trilogy, they have arrived in Elizabethan England, a former home of Matthew. Diana does not blend in well and allegations of witchcraft along with a request from Matthew's father takes them out of England to the family home, Sept Tours. As their time in Sept Tours comes to an end Diana must master her craft and obtain Ashmole 782 before their time in the past runs out.

This story was very slow at first and the introduction of historical persons as characters in the book was kitschy. My interest was caught in the trip to Sept Tours and kept throughout the book due to my interest in Elizabethan England. However, I can't help but feel that not much really happened in 600 pages.  The main substance of the book was the development of a marriage between Matthew and Diana, as well as the many issues that come along in a new marriage. While, friends and family of the present are preparing for a battle against the Congregation, it is not until the end of the novel that Matthew and Diana feel a sense of urgency to prepare.

I would have a difficult time recommending this book. It does have a Twilight feel, but only very slightly. The characters are well developed and multi-faceted. I enjoy the historical aspects of this novel as well as the fun, fantasy aspects. I am very eager to read the conclusion of the All Souls Trilogy – no date has been set for the release of the final book.

Book Review: The Next Best Thing by Jennifer Weiner

Our flawed heroine in this Weiner novel is Ruth Sanders, a 28 year old wannabe TV writer.

Ruth was orphaned by a car accident when she was young, left with very noticeable scars and a loving grandmother, who leaves her sleepy, Floridian retirement to - in essence - become a parent again. Shortly after the accident, it was decided that Ruth would spend a summer in the hospital having reconstructive surgeries. She and her Grandmother wiled away the hours reading, writing and watching The Golden Girls. 

We see a few glimpses of Ruth as an adolescent, she believes from an early age that she will never be pretty due to the large scar on her face. She forgoes boys, and joins the school newspaper, both the formal paper and the underground gossip mag.

Upon completion of college, Ruth asks her Grandmother to move to Hollywood with her in order to give her dream a shot. A year is all, then they will come back. However, Nana will not agree to these terms, she will agree to go with Ruth to take all of the time she needs in order to succeed. When we meet Ruth at the beginning of the novel, she has spent almost a decade chasing her dream and is finally waiting for the approval of the pilot for her show "The Next Best Thing". The show is a semi-autobiographical portrayal of her and her grandmother's own journey to LA. 

We follow Ruth as she is tested to see how far she is willing to compromise in order to have her writing brought to life. Now, of course, as this is technically "chick lit" there is a bit of a love story that plays in the background but, as is true in most Weiner tales, the focus is on the battle with the self.  

I truly enjoyed this novel. At various times, I found myself so completely engrossed in the tale that hours would pass without me realizing. Ruth is a well formed character, flaws and all. Which is what I love about Weiner, Ruth is an average girl, and as an average girl, I want this girl to win! Once when explaining why I loved Weiner's heroines I exclaimed, "because they're cute, chubby, quirky girls like me!"

I would recommend this book ... to folks who love a fun, light read. 

My two favorite quotes from the book ... 

"She looks like P-P-Paris Hilton! And I hate Paris Hilton! She has dead lizard eyes!" 

"And, by the way, I would have done this for free pizza and a bag of Skittles."

Audio Book Review Quickie: Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by Andrew Shaffer, writing as Fanny Merkin

Psst... are you sick of hearing about Fifty Shades of Grey? Yeah, me too. So when I first saw that a parody came out, I did not rush to get a advanced reader copy. However, my Twitter feed spoke out in official support of Fifty Shames and this pushed me to request a copy. I'm glad that I did so.  

Once I got past the initial corniness of the parody, I began to enjoy the book. Firstly, the narrator is amazing. She has a tone that is a mesh of Anna Feris and Drew Barrymore (as Gillian on Family Guy). I'm not sure that I would have enjoyed reading the book half as much as I enjoyed listening via audio book.

We pretty much follow Fifty Shades scene-by-scene. We begin by meeting the naive, virginal Ana Steele who has been compelled by her middle-aged, alcoholic roommate Catherine to interview the notorious businessman, Mr Earl Grey. Ana finds herself to be the object of the affection of Mr Grey, who seems to be an ideal catch (if you care nothing of a man, more than his money). Yet, Mr Grey has shame in his life - 50 shames, to be exact (which are listed at the end of the book - and include being Team Jacob) - he's into BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick) - which is explained as erotic LARPing.

What I loved about this:

I loved that Ana's inner goddess was replaced by an inner guidette, who's thick Jersey accent is Ana's internal accompaniment. 

I loved that Shaffer/Merkin "accidentally" refers to Mr Grey as Edward - often.

I loved the synonyms for anatomy:

•      Carnal Cave
•      Pink Palace
•      Heavenly Gates
•      Man Trap
•      Mud Flaps
•      Rigid Disco Stick

I would recommend this book .... to folks that want to read Fifty Shades to catch references; however, actually don't care to read the book because of it being poorly written. I also suggest this to folks that enjoyed the Scary Movie franchise ... as I can see this as a follow-up to the 50 Shades film in the works. I would also recommend this book to readers who enjoyed 50 Shades but know that its not a good book and can have a good laugh at themselves.

My favorite quotes:

"It's like I'm writing a novel in my head ... a first person narrative ... a crappy one."

"Earl Grey has fought for me and I am his prize, like at the bottom of a cracker jack box."

"Now I'm going to make babies with your face!"

"My fairy princess name is Labia Majora."

"My fiance's name is Earl Effing Grey. If you don't tea bag me right this second, I'm calling bullshit"

"Gazing at each other gazingly."

Andrew Shaffer was recently a guest on the No Math Allowed podcast. 

Book Review: Talulla Rising by Glen Duncan

Earlier this year I reviewed The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan, which was an amazing read. Talulla Rising is book two out of a planned trilogy (anyone know the name of the trilogy? Leave a comment). We rejoin Talulla in Alaska, she is mourning Jacob and pregnant with his child. With her is the unlikely companion, Cloquet (her human familiar --- I love that). Talulla is in the late stages of her pregnancy, not quite sure exactly what will come out. Not sure if she will give birth as a woman, or as a werewolf. Being the last of her kind, since the passing of Jacob, she doesn't exactly have anyone to ask so she turns to Google for the mating/birthing habits of wolves. Lu is concerned that she will not have the ability to be a good mother. Specifically, she is concerned that she will kill and eat her child. Part of the curse is not only to kill but to love killing. So what if she kills them and enjoys it... 

Her motherly instinct is soon tested upon the birth of her son, whom is snatched by vampires in an incredibly cruel and gruesome manner. The remainder of the story is the tale of Talulla's struggle to find and save her son. Of course, there is more to the story, but you will get no spoilers from me. 

Talulla Rising did not have the same effect on me that The Last Werewolf had. I enjoyed Jacob as a character, he was someone that I both loved and hated. Jacob is not completely missing from this novel. Quotes from his journal as woven through this novel so that he does seem present. Talulla, on the other hand,  took a bit more time getting used to.  The writing is, of course, amazing. Duncan can truly make an internal dialogue gripping. 

I recommend this book... to those literary fiction lovers who are tempted to dip their toes into genre fiction. 

My favorite quote... there are several actually: 

"It was like the devil putting his arms around you from behind and you leaning back into it and enjoying the lovely surprising warmth."

"My idiot heart couldn't stop reaching into the emptiness where Jake should have been ..."

"We'd exchanged horrors like wedding vowels."

Talulla Rising is available now. 

The next installment of the trilogy - By Blood We Live - is due out in 2013.

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Holy Shit You Guys!!!! New Sandman coming in 2013!

Neil Gaiman has officially announced a prequel to his beloved Sandman comics. The story will be written by Neil, and the graphics drawn by J.H. Williams, who did a phenominal job with Promethia. 

Book Review: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

We Need to Talk About Kevin is both incredibly beautiful and incredibly terrifying. We meet our narrator, Eva, through her letters to her husband Franklin. At the point that we are introduced to the story, Eva and Franklin's son - Kevin - has orchestrated a high school massacre, referred to simply as "Thursday." Eva's letters to Franklin begin at the true beginning of the story of Kevin, at the time of a happy marriage and discussions of a possible child. Eva was well into her 30's when discussions of a baby became a serious topic. When she became pregnant, though trying for some time to be so, she was disappointed. Eva's retelling of her pregnancy and child birth was incredibly raw. She finds herself horrified to be completely unmoved by the birth of her son. Franklin took immediately to being a father, Eva's development as a mother took 16 years.

Kevin was never a delightful child. He screamed through the day, refused to breast fed, ran off babysitters. Eva believes the meaning behind these acts as being more sinister than a cranky child. She believes that Kevin screams to ruin her day, that he pulls hair to cause pain, that he reluctance to potty train is to torment her. Though in her defense Kevin was in 1st grade by the time he mastered the toilet, imagine changing a 6 year old. As Kevin grows, he becomes more and more of a terror; but only to Eva, to Franklin he seems to play the part of the doting son. Eva continually speaks up as Kevin's behavior escalates to cruel and dangerous, this upsets Franklin. By the time that Kevin has reached 17, Franklin has become so outraged by Eva's constant mistrust and misbelief of their son that he has decided that they should separate.

Then Thursday happened.

At the beginning of most letters, Eve recounts visiting her son in prison. They become honest with each other, even so honest as to say that they often hate each other. There are some definite plot twists, the major one kept me hooked to the story. I felt something was coming and had to see if my inkling was correct. It left me completely heartbroken and shaken. I am not easily shaken.

Though Eva is not a beloved character, she is someone that I can understand in the hypothetical sense. As aging woman, there are thoughts of "well, should I have a kid?" In my own life, I can say that the answer is a firm no; however, I can understand the thought process. The life is so good now, what if this fucks it all up. To me, Lionel Shriver (female) takes that thought process to the extreme.

Lionel Shriver is childless.

Quick note on the audiobook version: I assigned this novel to myself for my 2012 reading challenge as I have heard amazing things. I began to read the book, and could not become engaged. The audiobook complete turned this around for me. This novel was performed, not read by the narrator.

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Book Review: The Long Earth by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxtor

Ugh, oh the nerds are going to kill me, I really did not care for this book. I loved the idea of this book. It's set in a not-so-distant-future Earth. The premise is that our Earth (Datum Earth) is just one of a million earths. Each accessible to humans who build steppers (a portable gadget powered by a potato). Joshua our hero is a young man that can step without a stepper, a somewhat rare skill. This brings him to the attention of the Black Corporation who hires him to lead an expedition to the outer reaches of the earths. His point of contact at the Black Corporation is Lobsang, a reincarnated Tibetan motorcycle repairman, whose soul just happens to be inside computer chip because computer chips look an awful lot like brains to a disembodied soul interested in reincarnation. It is this ludicrous wit that is the saving grace of The Long Earth.

This story stretched my imagination regarding the concept of new exploration and possibilities on Earth. What ownership would mean, what pioneering is possible. However, I was let down with a dull plot line and a fizzy ending.

I would recommend this book … to folks that enjoy Sir Terry's mastery of dialogue and maybe even folks who enjoy books on exploration (thinking Lewis and Clark here).

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Book Review Battle Royale by Koushun Takami

It seems that any discussion regarding The Hungers Games is footnoted with a reference to Battle Royale. Beyond the theme of kids killing kids, there are enough differences to enjoy these books as very separate works. Though it should be noted that Battle Royale is an adult novel, I would not classify it as YA.

Battle Royale takes place in the dystopian state of the Republic of Greater East Asia, the citizens have been ruled by a totalitarian government for the past three generations. Throughout the novel we come to understand that communication with other nations is strictly prohibited, rock music is prohibited, the internet is a joke. The Republic is a silent, unknown terror to the remainder of the globe.

Our story opens with the students of Shiroiwa Junior High School on a bus en route to an off site "study trip." The bus comes to a stop and slowly the students are gassed. They wake in a classroom, each student sitting at a school desk with a silver collar on their necks. An instructor enters the room (with several armed guards) and explains to them that they have been chosen to participate in "the Program."

The Program began around 60 years prior to the timeline in the story. The gist is that 50 classes of third-year high school students are each taken to a small island off the coast of the once Japan, each school class is sequestered to its own island. The students fight/kill their classmates and the winner is announced on TV, given a lifetime allowance and a card signed by the Dictator.

The 42 students of Shiroiwa Junior High School are told the rules of the game. During this explanation, a young man stands up and asks a question regarding who was informed of his being here, as he is an orphan. The instructor said that he informed the head of his orphanage, a lovely young women, he also mentioned that he raped her. The student became enraged and began to move toward the instructor, he was immediately killed by the guards. It is with this cruel action, that Takami sets the pace and tone of his novel. By the end of the instruction chapter, we understand that each student is given a day pack with includes a weapon - some students have guns, some knives, some forks?? - these are completely random. Before the students are released into the wild of the island, they are given sheets of paper and told to write down the following, "we will kill each other." We also understand that there is no way out of this, the author has thought of all the loopholes and shoots them down (I can imagine him having fun while destroying the readers plans for escape). The largest escape deterrent is the silver collar that was placed on their necks, it tracks location, health stats … oh, and it blows of your head if you try to pry it off.

The main protagonist is Shuya Nanahara, a orphan whose best friend was killed in the classroom before the game officially began. The perspective continually shifts through the remainder of the students. I think this was an excellent way of conveying this story. The author is allowing us to become emotionally involved with all of the students, the good and the bad, so that when the inevitable murder occurs we are moved (and in some cases i-want-to-throw-this-book-out-the-window-outraged!). Shuya teams with Noriko Nakagawa (the girl whom is best friend was in love with), in order to try to stay safe and recruit other students who do not want to kill each other. However, Shuya soon finds out that there are students that are playing this game, and playing it well.

My favorite quote … "Laugh a lot, and at times, cry. And if you find a wonderful girl, then you go for her and love her."

I would recommend this book to … folks who are comfortable with intense violence and gore.

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Happy Pub Day for Gone Girl by Gilian Flynn

Gone Girl is out today! Go read now, thank me later.